There’s a lot that goes into a social event. You might be flexing your muscles on the dancefloor or using them to sit still at a fancy dinner table. There’s likely a lot of sensory stimulation that you might be taking in to dance to the beat, or trying to block out to concentrate on what’s being said.
Running through your brain could be all the things you want to remember about the event, or your anxieties, or goals for the interaction.
All this activity is understandably taxing on your mind and body. But you’ve probably heard it said that extroverts gain energy from being around other people, while introverts get their energy from being alone.
Does this mean that extroverts don’t get tired of socialising? We all fall somewhere on a scale between introversion and extroversion – nobody’s solely one or the other.
Extroversion is considered one of the ‘Big Five’ personality traits and, while there is a genetic component to your experience of extroversion and introversion, the impact of your personality preference on your in-the-moment behaviour varies depending on the situation.
Sometimes you’re outgoing and talkative, exhibiting a more extroverted personality, and other times you’re more reflective and reserved, or introverted.
In studies that have tested levels of extroversion, results indicate that there’s a connection between a more introverted personality and fatigue. It’s not simply the case that extroverts never tire of social interaction, though.
Everyone will feel exhausted after a lot of socialising; it’s just that the upper limit will vary from person to person.
Research into the fatiguing effects of social interactions has identified some common factors among those considered most tiring. Conversations that were long, difficult or intense, felt more tiring.
If a person was trying hard to make a good impression or meeting lots of new people, they were more likely to feel drained afterwards. Conflict and complaint also took more energy.
This means that it may be possible to reduce the tiring effect of socialising by actively seeking encounters that make you feel at ease, that don’t involve too many new people or that allow for breaks during long conversations.
To recover from social exhaustion, many people choose to be alone. This can help if the most tiring part of socialising is the interaction itself. But if social anxiety or depression is what makes mixing with others exhausting, solitude can potentially exacerbate the problem.
It’s thought that the emotions you experience during social events can also affect your feelings of fatigue. If you have to spend a long time suppressing your true feelings, or showing a certain emotion that’s at odds with what you really feel, you could be more prone to emotional exhaustion and burnout.
For example, ‘service with a smile’ jobs could make servers more tired, and care workers who are unable to show their grief or fear for their patients may find themselves emotionally drained outside of work.
To combat this, it’s suggested that you make time to express your feelings and accept and acknowledge that they’re valid, reducing the emotional dissonance wherever possible.
This article is an answer to the question (asked by Faye Chase, via email) 'Why is socialising so tiring?'
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