It’s time we rethink how to solve loneliness

It’s time we rethink how to solve loneliness

Rates of loneliness are increasing worldwide. But big-tech companies think they have the solution.

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Photo credit: Replika

Published: October 5, 2024 at 9:00 am

Despite being more connected than ever, we're pretty lonely right now. So lonely, in fact, that the World Health Organization has even declared the ‘loneliness epidemic’ a global public health concern. Roughly a quarter of the world reported feeling isolated, with young people making up the brunt of that figure.

In other words, we’re facing a crisis. So, what’s the answer? Social clubs are springing up in cities everywhere, Japan has pushed support groups and the Dutch have found success in flatshares that mix elderly and younger residents.


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But while these measures have all been shown to help, they’re a drop in a rather big, lonely ocean. Rates of loneliness are increasing and a global solution isn’t easy to come by... or is it?

Tech companies are jumping at the opportunity to fight loneliness with all sorts of hard- and software. However, while they’ve gotten off to a surprisingly good start, they have a long way to go before this epidemic is cured.

How we misunderstand loneliness

In its rush to design a fix, big tech has over-simplified its idea of loneliness, conflating it with a need for conversation. But that’s not necessarily big tech’s fault; few of us understand loneliness fully.

“There are three types of loneliness. The psychological type is what we know best – the ‘do you have someone to talk to about your problems?’ type. If you don’t, your cortisol levels are up, causing serious stress,” says Dr Jeremy Nobel, author of the book Project UnLonely.

“Systematic exclusion is the second, whether that be due to race, gender, disability or something else. The third is spiritual loneliness – the ‘does my life have meaning, does it have consequences?’ type – it’s the feeling that we’re alone in a big world”.

The solutions currently being offered by the tech world are geared towards dealing with psychological loneliness. Take Replika, for example. It’s an AI chatbot program in the form of a virtual companion that your create. The more you chat to it, the more the companion adapts its vocabulary, tone and emotion to become a friend you’d trust. It even remembers details about previous conversations you’ve had with it.

It all seemed like a decent option for boosting people’s social confidence and reducing loneliness. Well, until the data breaches, the companions’ abilities to offer sexually charged responses and changes to the AI algorithm that drastically altered the companions’ ‘personalities’.

Then, there’s ‘Friend’, an AI in the form of a microphone you wear around your neck. Say a few things into the mic and the AI sends you texts based on your utterances and converses with you about your day’s events. The idea is well-meaning, but it feels like a somewhat meagre solution to such a large problem.

Elsewhere, miniature robots have found their way into retirement homes, offering a futuristic take on companionship with surprisingly promising results. Take ElliQ, for example. As well as offering video calls and chat with trusted contacts, the table-top AI sidekick also initiates interactions by suggesting games and conversation topics to help elderly people engaged and active.

Addressing loneliness with tech

Woman lying on bed scrolling through smartphone
Credit: Oleg Breslavtsev

While there are plenty of tech-based attempts to address loneliness available, they’re all relatively primitive in their approach, designed to be temporary fixes to the symptoms of loneliness, rather than a solution to the causes of it.

That said, Nobel believes that tech is perfectly positioned to play a greater role in addressing the problem of loneliness, but in order to do so the people behind it need to take a different approach.

“We need to perceive loneliness for what it is, an emotional signal. When we feel thirsty, it’s a sign to drink water. When we feel lonely, it’s a sign that we need social engagement or support. We wouldn’t feel embarrassed about feeling thirsty,” says Nobel.

“There’s a cultural narrative around loneliness that suggests we’re flawed for feeling lonely. That comes with guilt that sends us into a self-perpetuating spiral."

The occasional pang of loneliness is perfectly normal, but these spirals can be where loneliness becomes challenging. Nobel highlights the cycle of loneliness where someone doesn’t want to burden others so they withdraw. From the outside, this can be perceived as cutting other people out, causing people who might be able to offer help to back away too.

Nobel sees a future where wearables could incorporate loneliness sensors, tracking indicators of a period of loneliness. “The wearable could be paired with an app. When it notices the signs, it could offer suggestions. Maybe to meet up with a friend or something as simple as going out in public to feel more connected to society,” he says.

Alternatively, Nobel sees potential for the use of AI-powered chatbots in solving all types of loneliness. Psychological loneliness could be aided by having social contact, even in the form of an AI companion.

Equally, in social exclusion loneliness, or a more existential type, chatbots can help people unravel these concerns, acting as a sounding board and advisor. It could even be as simple as apps that help people make new friends with shared hobbies – a trend that’s growing in popularity.

We’re not there yet, but tech could soon be a crucial tool to deal with the loneliness epidemic. A variety of apps, wearables and gadgets are emerging that, when combined, are able to address the variety of types of loneliness we’re facing today.


About our expert, Jeremy Nobel

Jeremy is a primary-care physician and public health practitioner. He is the founder and president of The Foundation for Art & Healing which runs the program Project UnLonely. This project address the personal and public health challenges of loneliness.

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