Whether you’re a kid, student, teacher, or loud and proud nerd, we all enjoy funny science jokes – even the most corny and painful puns. That’s why we’ve put together a collection of our best cheesy (and downright groan-worthy) short one-liners for both children and adults to enjoy in 2024.
We have wracked our brains to come up with 50 of our favourites. By the time you get to the end of this list, we think you will have sulphered enough...
50 Best Science Jokes 2024
- What do you call a rude hydrocarbon? Crude oil
- Never talk to Pi. They will go on forever
- Why did the chemist get fired? Because they didn't react well under pressure
- Oxygen and potassium went on a date. It went OK
- A neutron walks into a bar and asks the landlord “How much for a beer?” The landlord says “For you, no charge”
- Why don't ants get sick? Because they have anty bodies
- Did you hear about the physicist who got chilled to absolute zero? They are 0k now
- The rotation of the Earth makes my day
- Don’t trust atoms, they make up everything
- Did you hear about the restaurant on Mercury? The lighting was good but it had zero atmosphere
- We couldn’t catch the chemical thieves. They were to phosphorus
- How often should you tell a chemistry joke? Periodically
- Albert Einstein developed a theory about space. And it was about time too
- I think I've lost an electron. In fact, I'm positive
- Why did the biologist break up with the physicist? They had no chemistry
- A plant asks another plant "Are you hungry?" They replied, "I could use a light snack"
- Chemists are so happy in the lab because they're in their element
- I was studying frequency in my physics lesson and now my brain hertz
- Why did the scientist remove their doorbell? They wanted to win the no-bell prize
- What is Iron's favourite ride? A ferrous wheel
- Why did the bacteria cross the microscope? To get to the other slide
- I was reading a book on helium and I couldn't put it down
- There are 10 sorts of people in the world: those that understand binary numbers and those that don't
- A photon went on holiday but didn't take any luggage. It was travelling light
- What do you call two diamonds going for a meal together? Carbon dating
- Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
- A quantum physicist walks into a bar and doesn't
- How do you have a party in space? You planet
- Why are chemists excellent at solving problems? Because they have solutions
- What sound does a sub-atomic duck make? Quark Quark Quark
- Two blood cells met and fell in love. But it was all in vein
- If the king breaks wind, is it a noble gas?
- Scientists who study the Sun probably have a flare for research
- No matter how popular they get, antibiotics will never be viral
- I'm not lazy – I'm just full of potential energy
- Did you hear about the expert on nuclear energy? He was a real afissionado
- Why do tigers have stripes? So they don’t get spotted
- Why did the two 4’s skip lunch? They already 8
- The astronomer spent all night wondering where the Sun had gone. But then it dawned on him
- What did one charged atom say to the other? I got my ion you
- Chemistry is like cooking. But don't ever lick the spoon
- Why don't geologists like scary movies? Because they are petrified
- What are the hardest books to read? Friction books
- What is a scientist's favourite dog? A lab
- What do solids, liquids and gases have in common? They all matter
- I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium were going on a date and I was like O Mg
- What’s the difference between a dog and a marine biologist? One wags a tail and the other tags a whale
- How do Scientists freshen their breath? With experi-mints
- Where do astronauts leave their spaceships? At parking meteors
- Why are there so many bad chemistry jokes? All the good ones Argon
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