From messing up the plot of almost every chick flick, to accompanying us to our graves, secrets have a bad reputation. But what if some secrets could actually make your life better?
A new study by researchers at Columbia University in the US reveals that keeping good news to yourself actually makes you ‘feel alive’ – especially if you intend to share it with someone later.
Previous research on secrecy suggests keeping secrets is bad for our wellbeing, according to lead author Dr Michael Slepian, psychologist and associate professor of business at Columbia University. “But this work has only examined keeping secrets that have negative implications for our lives,” he said.
Instead, the study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology focuses on the impact of positive secrets. Slepian said: “Some of life's most joyful occasions begin as secrets, including secret marriage proposals, pregnancies, surprise gifts and exciting news.”
The researchers conducted five different experiments with over 2,500 participants. In the main experiment, participants identified types of good news they were currently experiencing from a list, including saving money or buying a gift for themselves.
They then had to rate how energised or excited that good news made them feel, as well as whether they intended to share it with someone else.
The participants were each currently experiencing an average of 14-15 pieces of good, albeit generally quite small, news. And of those, they were keeping about a third (four to five) a secret.
Why? The participants reported that keeping their good news private boosted their energy levels. Plus, having an intention to eventually spill the beans would also make them feel more positive about their secret.
The researchers think that orchestrating a surprise around good news can help to extend the joy of revealing it, turning a fleeting moment into days or weeks.
But most people don’t think to maximise the joy of good news in this way. A pre-study survey of 500 people suggested that 76 per cent of people share good news with someone immediately after they discover it.
The researchers wanted to compare the impacts of positive secrets against ones considered to be unpleasant or embarrassing. In one of the other experiments, they found that participants made an active choice to keep positive news a secret – which made them feel energised – compared to negative secrets, which participants felt forced to keep because of external pressures.
“People will often keep positive secrets for their own enjoyment, or to make a surprise more exciting,” Slepian said. “When we feel that our actions arise from our own desires rather than external pressures, we also feel ready to take on whatever lies ahead.”
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