BBC Focus Magazine

[Shadowwolf]

This really all depends on anyone else having seen last Monday's National Geographic 'what if' two hour special that focused on the arrival of an alien intelligence in our contemporary era, and examining the likely result of these visitors being hostile and the effects on the human populace.

What did folks think of the premise and the resulting scenarios as the invasion played out? Did it seem plausible, likely or still indulging more in fantasy than the expected reality?

Btw, it also included the opinions of a former commander in chief of this great realm, Mr Paul Parsons so it can't have been all bad

[M Paul Lloyd]

I do wish I had seen this and my efforts to find a re-run have so far proved fruitless but as I understand it they discussed the how's and wherefores of an alien invasion.
Specifically that the resource they would treasure most, above minerals and such would be more biological in nature.
From my point of view I'm left wondering why they would want to invade at all.
We terrestrially orientated humans tend to apply our perspectives and preconceptions onto the mind set of any potential alien species and quite incorrectly (in my opinion) assume they would want to inhabit our little blue ball at all.
I just don't see it myself.
I mean its just not logical. Surely a civilization sufficiently advanced to cross the vast expanses of interstellar space will not be bound by need to live under an uncertain sky but rather have adapted and indeed prefer to live within their 'ships' foraging for resources as they go on their way.
To that end, yes they may want some of our biological material (or possibly all of it) but would they actually want to live here? I very much doubt it, people climb to the tops of mountains, but they rarely choose to live there.
They might, at most, only have a few research teams posted on our planet prospecting for what they most need.
Ah now there's a worrying quandary. What if they then choose to scour our world of everything useful leaving an all but dead husk behind?

[Lateralman]

I missed the show but good question. “So what would I do if ET came knocking?” Well I wouldn’t put the kettle on cos’ they may not drink tea. I wouldn’t wave a white flag, cos’ they probably would view that as an act of aggression. I wouldn’t try to converse with them, cos’ no one can understand me now. I wouldn’t run away cos’ if they can find their way here across the universe then there would be no place in my garden to hide.

I could offer them my wife as a sacrifice! That could work, as they would have to be very very brave to confront her. In fact, they may just take off!

Then again, I could try to converse with pictures as a picture is universal and speaks a thousand words. However, if they don’t have eyes... I am a goner!

Therefore, that is the solution to the problem. We need to put forward an intellectual scientific artist as a spokesperson to greet any alien encounter. With a good orchestra as back up to sooth the savage beast.

Any suggestions? Or do I have the wrong end of the stick once again?

[Lateralman]

I reckon that Rolf Harris would be our best prospect for alien ambassador for he can sing and is quick on the draw and can chuck a boomerang should the aliens attempt to tie his kangaroo down, sport.

[Shadowwolf]

Well the difficulties of how to communicate were rendered moot on the programme as our visitors couldn't really care less. They were here for bounty and our biomass was that bounty, they just needed to neutralise us first.

Though the methods of communication described prior to their assault was mostly conventional transmission, a sequence of hello statements in all the languages of the Earth. As if one language would not be work enough, lets add great confusion by saying the same thing in different ways. Anyhoo there was the valid point that lots of random joes would all be transmitting at them as well. But none of that worked, nor did mathematical equations and then they whupped us.

I reckon that Rolf Harris would be our best prospect...

Oh I'd wager that proferring him would be signing our extermination warrants, in fact, I'd probably help them.

[Hyrulian Outlaw]

As with any first encounter the language barrier would be broken by using key items that are familiar to both parties. Easy enough with Earth inhabitants as were all familiar with trees, local species, water etc.

I think the big challenge would come if the alien visitors communicated telepatically with each other, hand no way of drawing or writing. So basically something similar to the giant brains from Futurama, sans voice. Assuming they aren't here to just wage war, but even then communication can be a weapon so I think it would be a good possibility they would want to communicate, even if it is a subversive tactic.

[Lateralman]

Perhaps they have come from a world of clashing branes and are going to use their giant brains to pick our tiny pea brains. Perhaps they want our knowledge in order to get a head?

[Shadowwolf]

There's your coat and you'll find the door over there...

[Lateralman]

I forgot my hat!

Looked at “Alien Invasion” a poor compilation of Independence Day and War of the Worlds. Thought it was rubbish apart from the end where they pointed out that pretending aliens might attack us helps humanity prepare for natural emergencies on Earth???

Still I could not help thinking that preparing for an asteroid strike is a more sensible way of spending the secret dosh, as we know this has happened and will happen again with the possibility of nothing surviving. Our real alien invasion will be that big alien rock!

Anyway, scepticism aside, as Mr SH pointed out if this event was to occur the aliens would probably be hostile. Therefore, any idea of having a peaceful chat over a cuppa would be out of the equation.

I think any ancient advanced alien civilisation would be well practised at harvesting the resources of any planet it fancied and once they had targeted our little blue ball we would never know about it, probably because they would be masters of camouflage and stealth.
The aliens could be in the form of a complex chemical cloud out in space and be intelligent enough to have no need to come anywhere near us. In fact, they could be anything but I do not think we will ever see them or any Star Warsy type of battle.

If their only weapon was to be able to turn our weather against us by conjuring up a myriad of atmosphere robbing tornados throughout the planet. That alone would swiftly end all our plans. All life would suffocate in seconds. Then they may use the same forces to suck away all our plants and animals including the oceans. Vacuuming up everything, to their distant spaceship through a chemical cocktail straw.

To be converted into more bio chemicals in their chemical cloud. Once they had finished drinking their fill, they would drift off leaving our planet looking a little like ‘Mars’ and no one would be left alive to hear the loud burp emanating from far out in the void.

There may be a one or two suicide assault balloonists drifting about who managed to survive? However, I doubt it.

So how do you plan for that eventuality as a random first thought?

[M Paul Lloyd]

Of course these supposed Aliens might not want to be 'contaminated' by our biological matter, they may actually stay away as one might avoid a pool of vomit on the Saturday morning pavement of life?

To be honest if I were a pan galactic being looking at our solar system as a potential resource I would probably consider mining the raw materials from the likes of Titan, a veritable chest freezer of organic delights and leave the compost heap that is our Earth well alone.

After all it may only be humans that view the Earth as something wonderful.

[Lateralman]

Naa changed my mind. I now go for the idea that all the planets in the universe are really eggs laid by cosmic dragons whose fiery hot-tempered young will one day hatch out from the cores. We are nothing but dragon grunge Mr Lloyd, stuck to the outside of their tectonic plate eggshells.

Then again, are there any Aliens? On a more romantic note, all the planets could be scattered seeds from the great cosmic tree of life blowing in the solar wind.

If ET does manage to land, we could always hide in the compost heap and leave him a sign outside saying, “Killjoy was here!”

Just heard on the news that it is Armageddon at six tonight! Don’t you find it amazing that one old man’s barmy global prediction may affect you subconsciously on what sort of a day you might decide to have?
Personally, I do not believe a word of it. I am off now to clean out the wine cellar.

[M Paul Lloyd]

Galactic dragon eggs.......................... I must tell my youngest that one, she'll love it.

[Lateralman]

Galactic Dragon’s eggs! Thanks Mr Lloyd but I cannot take credit for that for it was Mr Wolf’s original vision. I only embellished it a little. Unfortunately, it is almost six and we are out of time to take the idea further. Fair thee well!!!

[M Paul Lloyd]

Well nothing has happened yet, but that's presumably Eastern Standard time? So we have another three and a half hours to go.

[Healerman]

Let's hope the people of Viltvodle VI don't have it right. Snot a pretty image.

Did I miss an apostrophe there? How careless.

[...]

these beings wouldnt be here to communicate, it would be like us looking at ants, thinking "theyre working and building stuff, they must be as intelligent as us, lets see if we can have a chat with them". i dont think so, the first thing we do to any ants getting in our way is not, have a little chat and see if they can be persuaded to try digging elsewhere......we're all doomed

[M Paul Lloyd]

I'm told that Ants make for good eating.

[Shadowwolf]

...as Mr SH pointed out if this event was to occur the aliens would probably be hostile.

Actually I didn't, that was the programmes premise.

Anyhoo I found most of the prog to be filled with a lot of wishful nonsense. It did have some cheap and cheerful ID4 elements but I suppose they needed some window dressing for the story so the pretties are not their worst crime. The idea of them being here for the bio-mass was reasonable, a change from resources they can get more easily elsewhere but most of the rest of it seemed to be based on poor assumptions. The idea that we would eventually prevail is the result of some daft extrapolation of war game scenarios that assume the invader has finite resources and that we can inflict small, steady damage that drives them off.

I don't think any intelligence would look upon us as we do ants unless they are some order of intellect vastly beyond ours, and by that I don't mean that they are just far more technically advanced. I'm fairly sure that an otherwise heavily advanced species can still recognise another intelligence even if they are millenia ahead of it. Whether they cared or not they would still know what they were doing in invading and could recognise that communication may be possible.

[M Paul Lloyd]

Does anyone think it is even vaguely possible that such aliens might be conservationists at heart?
We always assume that they will want to pillage and destroy, but what if they come across us and say 'ooh look at this, isn't it amazing how that entire little world could exist down there' and then we 'retaliate' with violence 'Ow! one on them just stung me' and so we are doomed.

[Lateralman]

I they where, "conservationists at heart" and witnessed what we were doing to the planet. They would get rid of us.